Crazy Radio Stalker Story #2

Last month I told you about "Linda"... one of our stalkers. Now I'm going to tell you about "Bob."

I've worked for a lot of radio stations in all formats. I've found that the rock format not only has the most loyal fans, but it also spawns some of the craziest fans. "Bob" technically lived outside of our market, but certainly within listening range. And he was one of our most rabid fans. Here's a few stories:

"Bob" really thought he was one of the group. He liked to call the listener line and talk to us about... well... really nothing. There was one time when on of our weekend jocks received a call, and recorded it. "Bob" went on and on about his personal life, his love life, his money issues, etc... and after about 20 minutes, our DJ finally interrupted him and said he was sorry about putting him on hold, and could he please repeat what had been said. Of course, he was never really on hold. And yes, it was a little cruel. But that recording kept us in stitches for weeks!

There was a time when our morning jocks were lamenting on the air about how they wish they had remembered to record a bit they had run. "Bob", who lived an hour away showed up at our doorstep an hour later, cassette tape in hand. He told me that he called in sick to work in order to drive that tape up to us. Nice thought... but really... who does that? It's certainly not worth taking a sick day for. Especially because our morning jocks really didn't care. They were just making a comment on the air.

"Bob", like any good stalker, liked to come to as many radio appearances as humanly possible. There was one weekend when my station was set up at a fair that lasted 3 days. Being the promotions director, I was there pretty much the whole time. On Saturday, I had gotten there around 6:30 in the morning. It was the middle of August, and admittedly, by 9:00pm, my patience was pretty much shot. I was hot, tired, sweaty, and all I wanted to do was go home, take a shower and climb into bed. This is when "Bob" showed up. He literally cornered me and talked at me for 1/2 hour. I hated to do this, but one of our weekend jocks/receptionist was about 20 feet away. Kelly is one of the nicest and sweetest people you could ever meet. And a very good friend of mine. And I completely threw her under the bus! I asked "Bob" if he had ever met her. He said he hadn't, so I introduced them and made my escape! The next day Kelly told me he talked at her for over half an hour! Years later, I'm STILL apologizing!

And here's the capper... my phone rang one day and "Bob" was on the other end. He had a GREAT idea that he wanted to run by me. As I mentioned earlier, he lived out of market. He was telling me that he noticed that we didn't have much of a presence in his city. I explained to him that we were concentrating on our market and it didn't really matter that we didn't have a visual presence where he lived. He completely ignored me. His idea was that he wanted to get his car logo'd for us! Um.... NO!!!!! I understand, and appreciate radio fans, but he was really taking it too far. Thankfully, I was able to talk him out of it. Nothing like having your station's logo on a beat up 1985 Dodge Aries!

The point is that you have to be careful about the fans of you radio station. NEVER eat cookies that a fan baked and brought to to you. NEVER give out personal information. ALWAYS find somebody to walk to your car with late at night. "Bob" and "Linda" were harmless... but you don't know when one of these fans could just snap. Just ask my former night jock who had an angry fan show up at the station with a loaded gun...

Hope you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

DON'T JERK AROUND YOUR ADVERTISING

I hopped in the car last night, and immediately heard a commercial for a local car dealer.

The entire premise of the 60-second message was "We won't jerk you around."

Granted, there was some valuable sales pitch in there, like how they really do work hard to approve people with credit challenges. But those few real carrots were wildly overshadowed by the constant assertions that "we don't jerk you around" and repeated calls to action that involved a URL and a phone number, both relying heavily on the word "jerk."


JERK IS AS JERK DOES?

I would love to know how this guy's radio commercials are working. Because from the standpoint of an automobile consumer, I was left totally cold. The entire advertising message was a protestation of something that (a) hadn't been on my mind and (b) reinforced the idea of being jerked around.

Were this advertiser my client, I would have asked hm to stop telling me what he wasn't going to do, and start telling me what was so great about shopping there.


WHAT'S THE BETTER REALITY?

I've done a lot of car dealer advertising, and one of the most gratifying things you can find out about such an advertiser is that people love shopping there. Then, it's a matter of tapping into the customer experience, and using that glowing light of happy customers to elevate the car dealer's brand.

I've NEVER let an advertiser say, "We don't screw you like the other guys." And the reasons are simple. One, it's a reinforcement of the idea you don't want prospects to consider. And two, in pointing an accusing finger at the competitor, it also points the finger right back at the advertiser.


RADIO IS A DANGEROUS MEDIUM--HANDLE IT CAREFULLY

Unfortunately, we hear "we're not like those other jerks" all too often in radio advertising--the one medium where making such accusations can backfire the worst, simply because radio advertising can be so emotionally charged, so potent, and so emblematic of the notion that people do not pay attention to advertising in any specific, intellectual way but in a generalized, emotional way.

Back when my wife first started working in New York ad agencies, there was a copywriter she worked with who said, "If you're ever in a meeting and my name comes up, never say 'Don't fire John.' Because people never hear the word 'don't.' They hear only the words, 'Fire John.'"

This is a sage piece of advice for any radio advertiser: if you don't want your prospects to know you for something bad, don't reinforce the bad. Emphasize the good.

As Always,

Blaine Parker

A radio advertising Creative Director in Los Angeles for over a decade, Blaine Parker is a principal in Slow Burn Marketing LLC, a small and feisty marketing agency perched on a mountaintop outside Park City, UT. You can find out more about him at www.slowburnmarketing.com